I often find myself thinking about October 19th, 2011. That was the day that I fell in love the first time. That was the day I met a boy who changed my life and made me the happiest girl in the world. For a little while anyways. When I met him, he was shy, quiet, and didn’t say much. But he was sweet. He was kind, and he cared about everything. I always found him reading into every word I said, and always wanting to help me. He took care of me, he was supportive, but most of all, he was the one who made me smile again. He gave me meaning and warmth. He gave me love and compassion. He made sure I knew that I always had someone to go to and a home that was always open. He was always at my door early every Saturday morning so we could spend the day together. We had many memories that will never be forgotten. All the things we got into and all the things we did together. He was truly my first love. My one and only for so close to a year. Such a short time if you think about it. But to me, to us, it felt like a life time. All of our times weren’t always rainbows and sunshine. We fought. Yes we argued a lot, but then again if we hasn’t have, something would have been wrong. We were a normal couple, always close together, always loving on each other and trying to fit in as many hugs and kisses we could in a day. He always held my hand, or in class would keep a hand on my leg as we worked. He would write me letters and poems, which I still have. And his drawings were absolutely fantastic. But his words were what stuck in my heart. His forever and always, his talks of our beautiful children we would have one day. His ideas of what it would be like to fall asleep together every night and never have to be apart. To do all these fun things and never have to worry about anything but ourselves. We dreamed about this for as long as we were together, always saying we were one day closer to everything we ever wanted… And we carried on like this for so close to a year, 11 months. And then one day, he changed his mind. I will never know why, because he still won’t tell me. Because honestly I don’t think he even knows. I have never felt a hurt like the one in my heart now. Because I am once again trying to teach myself to live half alive when I once had someone who made me better. But he was also the same person to break me. To shatter me, and throw me away. But I will always have a part of my heart that will belong to this boy. Because as first love is, that’s how it goes. And I will wait for him to come back for as long as I can. Because I just cannot simply live without this boy, who is my life, my soul, my heart and my world. I gave him everything and I will continue to patiently wait for his return. My love, you mean more to me than anybody in this world. You will always be my Jason Scott Minix. I love you.